I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
