everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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