Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
NoShamevember. You game?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
