So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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