Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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