you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
you had me at cake vodka
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
