You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
