i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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