apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
