Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
this boner is exhausting
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
