she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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