So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
