She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
