You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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