For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
