Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
