All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
