happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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