Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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