READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
