It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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