i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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