Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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