Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Randomize
