So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
