We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
