If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she told me i tasted like america
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
