Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
