Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
