I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Houston, we have a blender
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
