so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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