He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Randomize
