and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
