The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
