To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
