is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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