You smell like stripper and shame
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
