I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
