At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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