omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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