I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
