Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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