it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
