Banned from zoo.
Again?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Randomize
