my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
