"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
