wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
