My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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