I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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