He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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